This blog is not for you if.............

                                                                                                                         This blog is not for you if.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................  If you sleep peacefully at night without having nightmares and feeling the hurt all over again in your dreams and waking up crying. This blog is not for you if you have not spent your childhood crying in bed every night whole night. It is not for you if you keep comparing my excitement for that one thing I had to suffer to get and you got a lot of it easily. It is not for you if you have said 'its okay' to my struggle with trauma and abuse. If you have called my panic attacks and anxiety a 'dramatics'. If you have received all the praise of your parents if you still hang out with your childhood buddies without any fear of being unfit. This blog is not for you if you don't understand the aftermath which we have to go through almost all of our lives. This blog is not for you if you don't understand the definition of our trauma.

This blog is not for you if you spend time with your loved ones because you were given loved ones.
If you have one single person in your life who you can trust blindly and share all of your crap without thinking twice. This blog is not for you if you have not worried once about the finances and to lean on someone for it. This blog is not for you if you have been your daddy's princess or your mother's apple of the eye. This blog is not for you if you have not suffered emotional trauma for almost your whole life.It is not for you if you have not tried or wished to end this life even for once. This blog is not for you if you have not been worried for your life when you were little by those who are supposed to protect you and they did otherwise.

It is not for you if you have not abuse in many ways physically, emotionally and sexually.
You don't get to compare us to you, you don't get to give us advice about the music you listen or movies you watch. You don't get to be proud of all of your privileges which came to you without begging for it. This blog is not for you if you cannot be happy for one thing we had after years of immense hard work without having an option of being tired or weak. This blog is not for you if you have been taken care of through thick or thin with all the love. This blog is not for you if you can and have felt safe with people who have loved you. This blog is not for you if you don't understand one bit of it and don't want to show any compassion or thought before comparing, advising and talking in general to us. This is not for you if you compare your children's achievement with yours without being bigger person who can say few good words. Its a matter of words only, believe me. It doesn't matter much to you about what you have and how much you have. This blog is not for you if you compare you are a lot of our very 'little' of it. You want an example, here it is; The size and breed of your dog don't matter if you have it all your life as compare to mine who had to struggle to get that one little companion. I saved once to get one and she died in my arms. I wanted a companion if not a human so a dog. That little friend means a world to me because I don't have a lot of it which you do.

This blog is for all those children who are pretending to be functional grownups and standing up on their own every day. You don't know the struggle of pretending to be fine so these grown-up children like us can fit in your perfect world. We have worked on our outside because it is quicker and easier than feeling better inside. It is for us who do not have any option of being loved, cared and emotionally perfect for a longer period. This blog is for the children who have been bullied all their life for those things which they were never under their control.

I have listened to all kind of things when I wanted to trust you. I also wanted friends who I can share without being judged or outcast. I also wanted to be in the group photos of large circles. I also want to trust and feel completely fine inside. I did not like your pieces of advice to correct my comprehension or how to keep my dog. You never realized that if a person who can endure so much and built a home of her own can improve on such little things. I also wanted to be appreciated for my achievements. I also wanted to have a family photo on my convocation when I graduated with an honor roll. I also need help with a lot of things at every step of this difficult life given to me. I trained myself to be my own true, trustworthy friend with whom you can put your guards down. I have no expectations and I am not asking for anything because this is what you think. If you do not understand someones' misery, keep your mouth shut and enjoy your privileges. We were given a damaged world from the beginning and we are occupied with making it liveable.  If you have never been in our shoes then you don't have any right to compare or above us, we will understand. Its a lifetime not so easy struggle, believe me !!

This blog is not for you if you don't have a big heart to appreciate or at least use kinder words. We have a very big heart because of our wounds and do appreciate very little things because we know the value.